My horribly embarrassing SUPERGLUE incident.

Occasionally I hear people say things like: "Wow, you do so much. How do you have time for all that?" Or..."You're like Supermom." To that I say...Psshhhhpt. Or something like that. Some people are really good about being able to spell the odd noises. Maybe its more of a hmmmppthhh. I don't know.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a really embarrassing story. You know, just to level the playing field.

So there I was....working on a sculpt at my kitchen table. I needed super glue to fix and a hole that I had in my silicone mold.  I.JUST.COULDN'T.GET.THE.LID.OFF!! Seriously, Superglue makers need to work on this.

It was a new container of glue with an "easy open" click system applicator. The directions were quite simple: 1. Turn the lid on the applicator clockwise until it stops clicking. 2. When it stops clicking turn it a full rotation counter clockwise.  Hmm.....easy enough.

Wait....Kid Check....Yep, still safely outside playing on our wobbly playhouse. Mental Note: Husband still needs to fix that. Oh well, maybe next summer. They don't weigh enough yet to cause serious damage if they fall anyway. On second thought....husband definitely needs to fix that.

Oh yes, back to the superglue.

It will not turn! What's this clicking sound I'm supposed to hear? Yep, nothing is happening. Further read instructions. Nope, I'm not missing anything. Turn.Click.Turn again.

Nothing.

It's now come to the time that I should use my teeth. Check the warning label: TOXIC. Definitely toxic. Oh no big deal, I'll just do it when my kids aren't looking. I wouldn't want them to learn to do anything stupid.

While using my teeth I think: "Oh there's the clicking sound! Yes, this is working. I can finish my project on time."

Check it to see if it works: Still doesn't. Really? Why is this difficult?

More twisting with my teeth.

Still doesn't work.

Hmmm....how many times is it supposed to "click"

Perhaps I should try.....ONE.MORE.TIME.

Click....Click.....Click.......................SHIT.

Mouthful of Superglue. FULL of Superglue. What did I do?

PANIC!!!  (of course)

It's all good though, I think my brain was prepared for something stupid to happen. I'd like to think that I'm clever and put together, but my life has been speckled along the way with little mishaps like this.  Soda can tops tend to rip off when I try to open them and cut me. Occasionally a crack pops up OUT OF NOWHERE while I'm walking. And, my little noggin is horribly misshapen with little bumps everywhere. I tell myself it's the natural shape of my head, but it's more likely from damage done along the way.

Back to the Superglue.....my brain knew I was in trouble and told my mouth to produce copious amounts of spit. Thank you Jesus! I grabbed a towel and was able to spit out most of it. However, just then my daughter walked in from outside....."Mom! Can we.....why is there a towel on your face?"

In my head..."Because I can't remove it!!!!!" Out my mouth...."Mommy got messy eating lunch. Go back outside. Do whatever you want."

I couldn't let her know what happened! First of all, she would probably repeat the unfortunate event. Secondly, kids are merciless. 

With the little miss gone I ran to the bathroom to check out the damage. Yep....partial towel attached to face (AND...it was a kitchen towel. GROSS! I think it had food on it.) Half my lips were stuck together and I just noticed that I was still clutching the bottle of Superglue. Well, more like I couldn't let go of the bottle of Superglue.  -(ACK!)-

I had to fix this before my handsome husband discovered my ineptitude. But, how do you remove Superglue and unstick your lips when one of your hands is still stuck to the Superglue! -(DOUBLE ACK!)-

Needless to say...I eventually scraped most of it off and escaped complete and total humiliation! That is.....until I decided to add a humility notch to my belt and post this on the internet.  Mehhh.....